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enjoying the experience.
Finally, the music stopped, and I gazed up into Tybalt's smiling face. A
tingling thrill passed through me as I inhaled the scent of his body, standing
so close to me. Suddenly, I recognized these feelings for what they were, and
was horrified.
I was aroused by him.
I stepped back, taking my hands from him and placing a good pace of distance
between us. Tybalt's face took on a sudden look of surprise and concern. "Dame
Raven? Is something wrong?" he said, having noticed my expression.
"N-no. Yes," I replied, wishing I could curl up into a small ball and die.
"I'm not feeling well - perhaps I over-exerted myself today. I think I'll go
lie down," I said, then sketched a brief bow to where Darian sat at the head
of the banquet table. "If you'll forgive me, your majesty, I really must go,"
I said, and before Darian could reply, I cast my Spell of Returning.
I sat quietly on the little bed I had been provided in my quarters. The cold
granite walls of Steelgate did not completely muffle the sounds of the music
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from the feast, and after a few minutes, I could hear the music had resumed. I
pulled my knees up to my chest in the darkness of the little room, and hugged
myself tightly. 'What is happening to me?' I wondered in horror.
There was a knock at the door. "Raven? It's Arella. May I come in?"
"It's not locked," I replied, sighing.
The door opened and Arella stepped into the room, blinking at the darkness. I
could see her clearly with the half-elven eyes of this body as she peered
about in the gloom. Swift-wing was perched upon her shoulder, and he glanced
about in the darkness as her eyes unfocused - she was apparently looking
through his eyes and using his ability to see into the astral. She felt about
near the door until her hands fell across the iron sconce on the wall. Casting
a brief cantrip of ignition, the sconce burst to life, the little pool of
resin it held burning fitfully. She then quietly closed the door, picked up
the lone chair in the room, and came near me to sit before me. "Raven, what's
the matter? Are you hurt or ill?"
"No. More frightened and disgusted," I replied quietly.
"Why? What happened?" Arella asked. Swift-wing said nothing, he merely gazed
at me curiously with those beady black eyes of his.
I pulled myself into a tighter ball, and buried my face in my knees. "I don't
know if I can even tell you."
"Try, Raven. Please."
We sat in silence for a long time, with the only sounds between us that of
Swift-wing's beak clacking as he quietly preened himself. Finally, I managed
to work up the courage to speak. "I was dancing with Tybalt, as you
suggested..."
"Yes?" Arella asked.
"It was... It was the first time I had ever danced, really. It was exciting.
It was wonderful sport. I had never danced before, and..." I said, then
shuddered. "When it was over... I found I... I was..."
"Titillated?" Arella asked, smiling.
"Yes," I replied, feeling my face hot from a bone-deep blush. It was horribly
embarrassing and humiliating. "I'm not interested in him - at all! I am not a
sodomite! But..."
"But your body still responded," Arella finished for me. She sat down beside
me, and hugged me briefly. "Raven, don't worry about it. If I had been in the
same situation, I would have felt the same way - terribly titillated, yet
still not interested in Tybalt at all. There's nothing wrong with you,
alright? Your body responded to his scent and the closeness and the
excitement. You can't help that - your body is that of a woman, and your
response was completely natural for this body. Like your menses or like your
leg twitching when I tap your knee just so, it's nothing you can control, it's
simply the way the body is made. It has nothing to do with who you are inside,
it's not a reflection on your manhood, it's just a natural part of the way
this body was designed."
Still curled in a tight ball, I turned my head to the side and looked at her
from behind my knees. "You really think so?"
"Yes," she replied, and smiled.
I hid my face again. "But I feel so... Filthy."
"It's alright, Raven. Really, it is. It's not your fault at all - your body
responded the way it was made to respond. That has nothing to do with who you
are inside. You are still Eddas Ayar, Master battle-mage of the Dyclonic
Circle, a man I am proud to call my friend."
I threw my feet to the floor in a flare of irritation, and glared at her. "No
longer of the Dyclonic Circle, they ejected me! The greatest humiliation of my
life, even worse than what happened tonight!"
Arella paused for a moment, staring at me as if carefully considering what to [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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