She lit the pipe with a bloody stick and puffed smoke in the six directions, singsong chanting:
Your universe is dead, Great Spirit.
It shines no more with beauty, dignity, and grace.
The flavor of life has gone from your food~
The promise of tomorrow has wilted like summer grass~
The dark hole of nothingness stares like a wicked snake.
The bone pickers leave bones to rot in the open~
The fires in the lodges are all cold~
The spiritmessengers are silent because there is nothing to say~
Your Sacred Smoke is absent from the Universe:
StillSheMourns has become SheHasNoName.
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HasNoName
You're downright gloomy, said Orlena. You turn everybody's disposition sour. Ruff has a sawmill out by the county line, and there's a cabin empty out there. So
you can just go there and live alone.
What did HasNoName care? She had no child, no family, no life, any more than she had a name. This place, that place, what did it matter? Her blank existence was
a harsh dream, and she watched herself, without interest, going through it automatically. One foot stepped in front of the other, but there was no place to go.
Though the board and batten cabin was small for a family that might work at the sawmill, it was spacious for one person. It had a pine table with three chairs, an old
bed in one corner, an oak chest beside it, small windows in three walls, and a homemade door in the fourth. Orlena showed her the fiattopped castiron stove for
warmth and cooking, with a bare metal flue going up through the ceiling and roof.
You do know how to make a fire in a stove, don't you? asked Orlena.
HasNoName nodded absently.
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Well, that's good. We never seem to know what you know and don't know.
The cabinet had a sliding, metalcovered doughboard and a swinging bin for storing flour. Orlena had even hung thin, white chintz curtains on the windows and put a
colorful, hooked rug on the floor. We want you to be comfortable, Cynthia Ann, she said, as she went out to get more things from the hack.
HasNoName stood near the little castiron stove. Some of the whites who lived with the Mexicans at Santa Fe had stoves like this. And the bluecoats had given
Ketumsee and the minor chiefs of his Penatecka band a few of them when they put them in little square houses on the Comanche Reservation on Clear Fork of the
Brazos. The stove was another of the white man's things that weighed one down. It was another demon that threatened to devour the Comanche way of life.
The stove seemed to be growing larger, looming up to bend over her, so she put a hand on it to hold it off and protect herself. It burned her hand slightly, taking her
breath, smothering her~ she began breathing too fast~ she couldn't seem to take a deep breath. They who were they? were trying to get her, capture her, take her
away? She jumped to run.
Pieces of Quanah lay strewn over the plain. As HasNoName watched, they dissolved into pieces of HasNoName. There was no blood at the cuts.
Frantically, HasNoName tried to fit an arm to a foot, but they were the wrong foot, wrong arm. She looked at them, quivering with fear, beginning to
cry.
Her heart beat too fast. She began to admonish it like a little child: PihitIe, and then she forgot what she was doing. SoobesI, a long time ago.&
Ruff and Orlena came back with coffee, sweets, bacon. What's wrong, Cynthia Ann? cried Orlena. You're white as a ghost. Are you okay?
HasNoName watched her sister emerge from a cloud of nothingness in the middle of the room. She was coming toward HasNoName too fast. HasNoName
jumped back, crying, No me
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mate. No me mate, por favór.
Silly, no one's trying to kill you, said Orlena. We've just brought you some things to eat.
A man's hand went into a little sack and came out with a sweet. Here, have a piece of candy. It was the kind man whose lips never moved. HasNoName allowed
him to come into focus. She tried to smile at him but felt the smile caught in a tic at the edge of her cheek.
Thank, said HasNoName, taking the candy. I thank.
Now, that's better, said Orlena. Here, let's fix you something to eat. Would you like some bacon and eggs?
HasNoName shrugged. She liked bacon and eggs, but they seemed disgusting at the moment. She held the candy in her hand.
Saying I'll get the other stuff, Orlena went out to the hack again.
And I'll start some water for coffee, said the tightlipped one, putting more wood in the little stove. You'll want some coffee, won't you?
HasNoName nodded and tried to smile, but she wasn't sure the smile got to her lips.
Orlena returned with a middleaged woman. This is Wilma Pagitt, she said. Her husband, Joe, is one of the sawyers. She'll help you when we're not around.
HasNoName tried to look at the woman, but the woman's face and arms dissolved in a dark shadow. HasNoName felt herself trembling as if she were someone
else. Her upper lip and hands began to sweat.
Hello, dear, said Wilma. We'll get along just fine. We're going to be the best of friends.
When Wilma had cooked the bacon, eggs, and coffee, HasNoName felt separated from herself. She stood by the door and watched as Ruff led the body of Has
NoName to the table and helped it sit in a pine chair. First Orlena, then the faceless woman, picked up bits of the food on a fork and put them in HasNoName's
mouth. Without interest, she watched the mouth chew the food.
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Orlena turned away and cried. Ruff took her in his arms, trying to comfort her. My own sister, Orlena sobbed. My own sister.
There's nothing we can do, said Ruff. Except comfort ourselves that we know she's in good hands here at the mill.
We'll all do the best we can, said Wilma.
Orlena ran out of the cabin and got in the hack. Ruff paused, touched the shoulder of HasNoName, but could say nothing~ then he, too, went out and got in the hack.
Wilma put food in the mouth and said, Chew, dear. Chew your food.
The mouth chewed and swallowed.
That's good! said Wilma. And look, we've only got three bites to go. Wilma touched the gashes on the body's arms. We've got to do something about those nasty
cuts, too. How in the world did you get them?
HasNoName became aware of her arms and hands. They had once been strong hands, muscular from work, a little gnarled with age and cold. She wondered what
they were doing on the ends of her arms. One of the hands was holding a bit of candy. The arms looked like raw bones, with a slick, translucent cloth draped over
them. As she watched, they faded and were gone. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]