me the fucking truth, he wouldn't have stormed out."
"I did tell you the truth!" I shout angrily at him.
Calvin gives me a get real" look.
"You just told me that you didn't know where this thing with you two is going when it s obvious
that something serious is happening. You clearly have deep feelings for each other or he wouldn t
have looked like you just killed his dog. It's your fault that he left. You lied to cover up your own
insecurities. Nobody here was judging you. So own your own shit and don t put it on me," he accuses,
pointing at me.
I can feel the heat from my anger rise up my face. "I don't have to listen to this bullshit from you,"
I snap before yanking down my mask and storming out of his office, too.
I find Chance outside trying to hail a cab. He sees me coming toward him so he turns and starts
walking quickly down the block.
"Chance, talk to me, will ya?" I call after him as I follow.
I have to jog to catch up to him. I grab his arm and spin him around. His livid gaze bores into
mine.
"Look, I'm sorry..." I start, but he cuts me off.
"No, you're not. And I don't want to hear any of your excuses. We've been arguing about this for
the past month and it's never going to change. You re never gonna want to come out. And I'm not going
to live my life in the closet. I don t want to be your dirty little secret. You couldn't even tell your best
friend about us," he rasps.
"Charlie knows," I tell him sheepishly.
"Good for Charlie. What about the rest of the fucking world, huh? he asks accusingly, stretching
and raising his arms in the air.
But I have no answer for that. None that he would want to hear.
You re falling in love with me? I whisper, taking a step toward him. The enormity of what he
said finally hitting me.
He takes a step back away from me. You know what& no, I didn't fall in love with you& you
fucking tripped me. And now...now it's over because I'm done," he says sadly.
"Chance, please, don't do this," I plead, reaching out for him.
He steps out of my reach and shakes his head. "I'm done. I've told you twice now that I'm in love
with you and you can't even say it back."
"I really don't think this is the best time to say it back, Chance. You probably wouldn't believe
me if I did," I argue.
"At least if you did I would feel like you were actually trying to fight for me," he croaks. "I don't
think you want this as badly as I do."
"Come on, man, you know that's not true." I sigh. I know nothing I say is getting through to him
right now; he's too hurt and upset. Plus, I m not sure if I do want it as badly. Am I prepared to come
out? To tell my family, my friends& fuck, the whole world that I m gay?
He shakes his head. "I'll see you on set," he says before turning and darting down the street.
At the end of the block, he's able to quickly catch a cab and drive away. Shit. I really fucked up
this time. I need a drink.
Chapter Fifteen
Parker
I never thought that there would come a day where I would hate going to work. But for the past
two weeks, I have utterly dreaded having to go to work every day. Outside of filming the movie,
Chance and I no longer speak to each other. It's not that I don't want to, but he's closed himself off big
time. He barely even looks at me whenever we're not filming. And the only reason that he looks at me
while we are filming is because he HAS to.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is filming romantic or even happy scenes with someone
who you once had all of that with in real life but no longer do? It's pure torture. I long so badly to
have back what's been lost. My heart physically hurts in my chest every day at the loss of my
relationship with Chance, and it s all my fault - my insecurity, my stupidity.
If I had just told Calvin that Chance and I were together, and not tried to dumb down what we
shared, we would still be together. Or at least I think we would. Chance was starting to get a little
itchy about telling the world about us, and he had every right to feel that way. I understand now that
all he wanted to do was tell everyone how happy he was with me, with himself, with what we
found. He was in love with me. He wanted to share that with everyone. I get it. And even though I [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]