pleasure.
You know Her Majesty! he nudged the finest legal figure
ever to emerge from the Butler s guild.
I was butler in her household for a short time, blushed
Wilson. But I don t like to talk about it.
Have a word with the Queen eh? Skag winked at him.
Dust off the cobwebs down below eh? I m sure an old charmer
like you can persuade her to do what we need. Prince Philip hasn t
been up to the job for years&
Certainly not Mr Franks! You will be properly tried in a
court of law. It s just my misfortune to have to represent you.
What have they charged us with? asked Julius after his
tenth consecutive Hail Mary.
They are charging Karim Khan with terrorism.
On what grounds? the defendant cried.
Being a Muslim.
Unbelievable.
They are charging Brother Julius with inciting religious
hatred and Master Benjamin for being black.
What about me? asked Skag.
You had to ask, Wilson cocked an eyebrow as he pulled a
file from the briefcase and read it out. To summarise:
Kidnapping, conspiracy to kidnap, possession of narcotics, intent to
sell them, white slave trading, human trafficking, ferret trafficking,
prostitution, child pornography, driving illegally without a licence,
driving over the speed limit on a French motorway, masturbating
off the deck of a ferry, injecting gerbils with amyl nitrate& need I
go on?
So what are we looking at? asked Benjamin.
Well, Wilson frowned. Skag could be facing a hundred and
fifty years. They have a fairly open shut case against him.
Why? he shouted abruptly.
You were caught with twenty illegal immigrants in the back
of your lorry with several kilos of heroin in the front cab. Your
partner was found dead in Soho with a signed suicide note naming
your criminal acts. He even disclosed a tape showing you accepting
cash in exchange for three Romanian girls who would later become
prostitutes. He gave away the web site you two set up called
kids r us.com and we found a dead gerbil called Jeremy lying in
your bathroom with the needle still hanging from it.
Damn.
And a rolled condom next to that.
Just a bit of fun. Come on, we ve all thought about it!
I will be trying to go down the insanity route but the
methodical way in which you planned the smuggling of two
thousand people might make that difficult. Hopefully pleading
guilty might shave a few decades off the hundred and fifty.
So what about the rest of us? asked Benjamin.
Well I have read the laws and regulations in regards to your
crimes and Mr Khan might struggle. Under law 25.2 sub section 34
it states that a Muslim connected with any crime, whether guilty or
not, may be placed in Guantanemo Bay.
Oh for Allah s fucking sake!
Meanwhile I have read law 1.0 section 1. Under no
circumstances will a White Christian be tried under these laws.
Brother Julius should be safe which leads me to the most
challenging part of the defence and where my skills shall be
stretched the most. Master Benjamin, they seemed prepared to
convict you for being black but I intend to point out that you are
of mixed race and are descended from noble ancestry.
Half an hour later they entered the court. The Albanians had
managed to escape trial due to claiming they were seeking asylum
from a bird flu ravaged country and were currently being driven in
several limousines towards a five star hotel in London.
The four accused stood in the dock looking about the place
anxiously. It was packed to the rafters with journalists who all
waited with baited breath to see what happened. On the defence
counsel s bench sat Detective Inspector Banks in his long brown
overcoat watching proceedings with great interest. He gave the
accused a look of sympathy.
Wilson marched to the front with his white wig sitting
imperiously upon his head while wearing a perfectly ironed long
black gown. At the same time General MacArthur, judge,
prosecutor and irrefutable fascist, appeared at the front wearing his
combat outfit with an American flag draped over his top half. He
brought down a hammer for silence so that everyone was hushed.
Order in court! The case of America against the Axis of Evil
has begun! I am representing the case for the prosecution and am
the judge presiding over the affair. I intend to ensure these
terrorists rot in the fires of Hell& .
May I just say? interrupted Wilson. That it would be
impossible to rot while burning.
Burn! Rot! Whatever happens, this is gonna be a bad day for
them! Please stand up the Counsel for the Defence who will make
a brave but ultimately useless case for the defendants!
Wilson was already standing. He wasn t planning on being
seated at any time during the entire hearing. For him this was a
desperate and integral moment in the history of the Bunt family.
The next few hours were crucial. Other Bunts had done time but
they had deserved it. Bestiality, bottom abuse, gassing a Jewish
family, you name it they d done it and deserved the subsequent
sentence. But Master Benjamin was innocent. For Wilson it was
personal. One should never fuck with one s master.
Me lud, he bowed slightly. I am not entirely sure that the
jury picked are suitable, he nodded to the eleven people seated to
his right. I believe they might be slightly prejudiced and therefore
not impartial.
We have brought in a cross section of society to judge the
case fairly, snapped General MacArthur.
They all seem to be middle aged white men.
How can you say that?
True, I can t be sure of the racial type of the three
individuals in Klu Klux Klan uniforms, but it doesn t seem a fair
and balanced demographic. Plus there are only eleven.
May I tell you, General MacArthur glared at the counsel
for the defence. That the twelfth juror has just this minute been
picked off the street at random.
Sieg heil! came a shout as Cousin Goering Frank Bunt
goose stepped into the courtroom, gave a Nazi salute and joined
the jury.
May I point out that your twelfth man was convicted of
inciting racial hatred and attempting to kill Jews? Wilson eyed the
disgraced member of the Bunt family distastefully. I hardly think [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]